TEACHER ABBY: Your brother is reluctant to fill in for Rose as our sister’s doctor

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Dear ABBY: My sister, whom I love very much, is facing difficult times. He tells me his problems, and I am happy to listen and give advice. Although I am willing to listen and help, I feel that he would benefit greatly from seeing a doctor who would help him overcome some of his problems. I also know that his decisions are his own, and I don’t want my opinion to come between us when I say something he doesn’t agree with.

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How can I encourage her to get professional help without sounding like I’m pushing her away and discouraging her from telling me about her feelings? When I mentioned therapy a few years ago, he said I should be his doctor. I told him that was great, but doctors have special skills that I don’t have.

My sister is on very low income and I am not sure how much it would cost with her insurance. He feels the treatment is “good,” but has never done it. He often says he can deal with these issues on his own, and I doubt he would resist counseling because it would be tantamount to giving up. Advice? — HELPFUL GUIDE TO COLORADO

TEACHING FRIEND: Tell your brother that you love him, but you’d like him to see a licensed psychiatrist, because in all the years he’s been confiding in you, he hasn’t moved on. It’s true. Point him in the direction of the health insurance company, because they can give him a list of approved doctors. If that is not possible, low-cost counseling may be available at a local mental health service or at a college or university with a psychology department.

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Dear ABBY: My youngest daughter is getting married in three months. I am 69 years old and have been a widow for six years. I am still dating a widow, “Rose,” who was my high school friend whom I met at church while she was in town taking care of her mother after our spouses split. necessary. He is well received by my family and friends.
Rose is worried about her role in the marriage. I discussed this with him and pointed out that his job is to be a guest for the couple as well as my date for the evening. I believe this is right and the right way to deal with this situation. I would appreciate any comments or suggestions you may have. – FATHER OF THE BRIDE MICHIGAN

FATHER OF THE EMPLOYEES: I gather from your question that you may be getting pressure from your lady to participate in the wedding. She may be welcomed by the family, but if your young daughter and her fiancé wanted Rose to be a welcome guest, they would have invited her to be part of the wedding party. Tell Rose it’s your day and her role is to be there, have a good time with you and support the happy couple.

– Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and created by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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